Humpday Update #24

I want to take a minute to explain why people my age are not in my inspiration pool.

First, it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me.

This year is a year of learning how to properly express emotions. As odd as it sounds, there are quite a few I'm not very good at. Happiness for others, especially for people my age for example, comes out in the form of the big green monster.

I'm talking about jealousy.

I suffer with it pretty greatly and confronting it here where everyone will now know is a little scary. But what's a step forward in the dark. Right? The whole "everyone has their path" theory infuriates me although I know it to be true. Our backgrounds and personalities lead us all to different jobs, homes, cars, friends, and talents. Alas though, my clear understanding of the theory doesn't mean I'm able to quell "it" from coming out.

Now the monster's level of ferocity varies from person to person. From family and friends to friends and strangers. Mostly, the less I know about your life the more jealous of you I am susceptible to be. As well as the factor of age. The closer to my age you are, the higher the level of mean and green.

"A graph would be so useful right about now..."

Anyway, the moral of the story is that I'm trying to accept and appreciate where I am in life by working harder to get where I'm not. I'm also reminding myself that aspiring to be like someone who isn't necessarily ahead of me is pretty silly. I can't move sideways, and I refuse to move backward.

My new inner monologue consists of things like;

My artwork/writing/pod-casting will get better if I work at it.
If someone says I am good at something I should believe them.
Money buys things, not happiness.
My decisions are mine; right or wrong.
I refuse to do that to get there. End of discussion.
All in good time.
"Keep it moving."

It changes per situation of course and it's sort of working so far. There are still moments where I feel bad about myself and get pretty irritable. But it's a slow process.

Not all issues can be fixed with a snap of your fingers. But boy I wish they could...

Selective Compassion

So I have written about this topic before. When Paris was attacked, I was ashamed (even of myself) of the way people reacted to this country going through what they did. It was sad and we felt for them. But has anyone else noticed that we only ever feel for these "super power" countries when so many other places go through this everyday? The following is what I wrote after Paris. Every one of us is guilty. We tend not to change the color overlay of our facebook pictures for countries like Afghanistan or Syria. Most of us don't even know that China's youth is so opressed and depressed that they're locking themselves away in their rooms and even killing themselves. No one bat an eye at the college campus in Kenya where 147 people were killed. And the Paris media attention drowned out the suicide bombing tragedy in Beirut one day before. What happened in Paris is indeed a tragedy. But it brings to light how we as Americans pick and choose who to show ou...

Humpday Update #6 / "These Damn Millennials"

I usually try to cover things that are a bit more personal with these updates, so with that said I think I get to rant at least a little. There are several things Iv'e noticed about my own generation that both excite and sicken me. There are those of us who can set our minds to amazing feats and through unrelenting willpower and unconventional means, usually get the job done. Then there are a great many who want everything served up to them, cry when they don't get their way and are for the most part are all talk. At this point in our lives, where all of us are basically adults, we need to stop acting like children and get real about our future. It's already messed up as it is with previous generations going about things the way we are now. They "didn't think it would happen" or "ignored the signs" and now we're faced with things like; no social security for ANYONE in our generation a planet that's killing itself pay that is ...

Humpday Update #15

I've been accomplishing a lot lately. Literally full steam ahead for the past month or so and I can say that it has paid off. My Twitter following is on the rise, as is that of this blog. With so many projects rolling along nicely my first flop hit me pretty hard about a week ago. Please allow me to step into my other self. The me that loves anime, manga, and comics. One of my side projects has been to bring a little taste of real life into what I experience among friends that also enjoy my nerdy indulgences and at conventions. My Facebook page and eventual channel " EchoTV " was to debut with a panel on diversity in cosplay at Otakon 2016; the convention's last year in my home town. When the convention emailed to tell me my panel application for "Cosplaying While Black" was denied, I was angry and wanted an explanation. (One I have yet to receive) In my rejection letter they basically say that they didn't properly go through all submissions ...

_chelsearedd

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