Humpday Update #24

I want to take a minute to explain why people my age are not in my inspiration pool.

First, it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with me.

This year is a year of learning how to properly express emotions. As odd as it sounds, there are quite a few I'm not very good at. Happiness for others, especially for people my age for example, comes out in the form of the big green monster.

I'm talking about jealousy.

I suffer with it pretty greatly and confronting it here where everyone will now know is a little scary. But what's a step forward in the dark. Right? The whole "everyone has their path" theory infuriates me although I know it to be true. Our backgrounds and personalities lead us all to different jobs, homes, cars, friends, and talents. Alas though, my clear understanding of the theory doesn't mean I'm able to quell "it" from coming out.

Now the monster's level of ferocity varies from person to person. From family and friends to friends and strangers. Mostly, the less I know about your life the more jealous of you I am susceptible to be. As well as the factor of age. The closer to my age you are, the higher the level of mean and green.

"A graph would be so useful right about now..."

Anyway, the moral of the story is that I'm trying to accept and appreciate where I am in life by working harder to get where I'm not. I'm also reminding myself that aspiring to be like someone who isn't necessarily ahead of me is pretty silly. I can't move sideways, and I refuse to move backward.

My new inner monologue consists of things like;

My artwork/writing/pod-casting will get better if I work at it.
If someone says I am good at something I should believe them.
Money buys things, not happiness.
My decisions are mine; right or wrong.
I refuse to do that to get there. End of discussion.
All in good time.
"Keep it moving."

It changes per situation of course and it's sort of working so far. There are still moments where I feel bad about myself and get pretty irritable. But it's a slow process.

Not all issues can be fixed with a snap of your fingers. But boy I wish they could...

Humpday Update #23: "Project Motivation"

2016 Eisner Award Winning "Paper Girls" So what you probably can't tell from my absence is that I've been secretly working on "Project Motivation". I talk a lot about making lists, getting things done, and tackling personal projects; as well as being tired, worn out, and just plain not in the mood. All the while "Project Motivation" has been a go. Christmas was the best time to really put things into action. I got the whole week off from work which was much needed to recharge and focus on things I really wanted to do. I spent time with family, my boyfriend, and my fur babies and recently finally went shopping. Getting mostly things to change my living space up including a new desk and trinkets to draw me back into drawing and designing. I grabbed a graphic novel I've been wanting to start and fun bits and bobs. The major bits of "Project Motivation" have been set into motion or completed. Create a Workspace Create/Upd...

Be Back Soon

I hinted really heavy at this in the last update. Given I also promised a few posts before the next one – but anyway ... In short, my blogger mojo is gone. And in shorter, my life needs me. My interests lately have just moved to other projects and I can't seem to focus on writing good posts with meaningful content when my mind is someplace else. I plan to be back to posting by July 4. See you then.

Humpday Update #9

Does anyone else find it highly annoying when you make plans to be productive and instead spend your time moping and binge-watching Archer? I do. Having a three day weekend for easter was supposed to be functional and full of energy. Instead of sticking to my guns I found myself doing nothing productive. I have a huge project I want to get off the ground and I've hardly started on it. I did clean and rearrange my apartment a bit so the weekend wasn't a complete waste. But here we are on Wednesday, feeling like a Monday, and I have nothing to show. My new plans resolve around unifying this blog. I managed to do at least that starting this past Monday. New layout, and a slow rolling in of more unified imagery for my posts. Trying to sell a discontinued DSLR to get a small body mirrorless for post images and everyday use. But I guess before I start shuttering away I should plan on leaving the comfort of my bed and Netflix more often... Jeez.

_chelsearedd

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